To: Addisyn Belle Cato
Current Residence: My Womb
Re: Eviction Pending
Dear Miss Addisyn,
I regret to inform you that though your presence has been wonderfully enjoyable over the past 8 months, and your move in was most assuredly celebrated and enjoyed, the circumstances over the past several weeks have become very uncomfortable and laborious for your host. You have been an excellent tenant, except for the little mishap in July, and have made a lasting impact on your residence, but circumstances as they are, you must make immediate plans to vacate the premises and move on to more spacious and appropriate living quarters.
I have arranged for such quarters to be made available for you at your earliest convenience. Accommodations shall include loving arms to cradle, rock, and snuggle you; soothing voices to sing and lull you to sleep; soft blankets and clothing to keep you warm and cozy; people who will love and adore you unconditionally; a bed with the finest linens that I could find for you; and a room called a nursery that is decorated with many wonders for you to enjoy and discover for years to come.
I assure you that the tight cramped quarters that you now occupy will pale in comparison to the place prepared for your arrival now.
No reply necessary, kicks, punches, and jabs will not suffice. Simply vacate the current residence and I will take care of the rest.
Failure to comply will result in forced eviction in no less than 10 days from today.
With all my LOVE and deepest SINCERITY,
Your Mother - Kristina
1 comment:
Love it! Did you come up with all that? If so, I am way jealous of your writing ability. Mine would have consisted of- get out, enough said. Can't wait to see pics of her when she does make her debut!
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